My Spouse Cheated- Is it Time for Counseling or Divorce?

Infidelity is one of the most common marital struggles and can be one of the most difficult experiences to work through in any given relationship. Infidelity with a spouse can be that much more difficult to navigate, given the sanctity of marriage. While all relationships are valid in their own right and marriage is not the only way to make a serious commitment to another person, infidelity within a marriage makes things quite complicated. 

Whether you are considering counseling or divorce, the professionals at MyTherapy can be of assistance to help you make a decision. To find out more, click here: https://www.mytherapist.com/advice/counseling/.

Consider Counseling First

If your partner has done you a great wrong, you have every right to decide to leave the relationship. If you have already made up your mind that you cannot forgive your partner, or that you wish to separate, that is an understandable choice in which case you might consider going to counseling on your own while possibly going through a divorce. 

Learning to trust again can be difficult to do alone, and with the help of a professional therapist, you can begin to rebuild your trust in others. 

If you are undecided about the future status of your relationship, you might be debating couples counseling. Couples counseling can be a great way to work out any discrepancies with the leadership of an unbiased, third-party professional. 

Even if you decide to separate after couples counseling, you may have more peace of mind knowing that you tried to mend the relationship in each way possible. Likewise, if you decide that separation is the best thing for your relationship (and your family) after couples counseling, you will be more likely to know you are making a mature, responsible decision. 

In either case, deciding to attend couples counseling can be difficult. Any feelings of anger or resentment might keep you from the desire to try. Couples counseling can be important if both parties decide they want to try to repair the marriage and work through their differences together. If this situation applies to you, consider trying couples counseling before making any other decisions about the marriage.

When to Consider Divorce

Divorce can be an intimidating word. It likely brings forth feelings of fear, disappointment, regret, and even anger. Separation and divorce are often difficult decisions to make alone and can be very drawn-out emotional processes. 

Here are some instances in which you might be debating the option of divorce

  • You are no longer happy in your marriage
  • You no longer feel safe in your marriage
  • You feel like an absent spouse
  • Your partner feels like an absent spouse
  • You feel betrayed by the infidelity of your spouse
  • You have both drifted away from one another or fallen out of love

These are a few broad categories in which many people begin to consider divorce. Of course, if one person wants “out” of the marriage, that desire should be granted. Remaining in a loveless marriage where one person is absent emotionally, physically, or otherwise can be difficult to “fix” in counseling. 

When you begin couples counseling, know that you might not be able to “fix” the marriage, but you will be doing your best to prioritize the marriage and are granting each other the opportunity to be seen and heard. 

Many people who consider divorce feel as though they have failed. It is perfectly natural to feel this way, especially if you never envisioned your marriage ending. Rather than focusing on your performance within the relationship, consider working with a counselor to decide objectively if your partner is making you happy and whether staying together is in the best interest of you and your family.