You’ve probably been thinking something is wrong with your relationship. Even if you’re happy, you might just have a slight feeling your relationship could be better or isn’t as good as it used to be. Maybe it’s time to get professional help? There are two parties involved, both bringing different points of view and demands to the table. This is where having a referee or mediator is key. A relationship therapist could be the answer. But are you being paranoid or are your concerns spot on? Here are some signs for you to consider.
Communicating Is More Difficult
Do you find it harder to have meaningful conversations with your spouse? When was the last time both of you talked, and a simple question or comment turned into a long, engaging exchange of thoughtful ideas? If long conversations have never been a feature of your relationship, has there been a change in tone? Pay close attention to even subtle changes in how you and your partner communicate, as this could be an ominous sign your relationship is in real danger.
You’re Arguing More
Disagreements are a natural, healthy part of human interactions: You and your spouse are two different human beings, not robots. Not seeing eye to eye on every detail is perfectly normal. However, there must be a willingness to compromise and a level of mutual respect maintained at all times. Without these factors, no relationship can survive.
If communication has broken down to the point where your arguments have gotten more frequent and/or more intense, then couples counseling should already be in your immediate plans.
Intimacy Isn’t The Same
Every couple goes through stretches when sex doesn’t happen as often as one or both partners think it should. But what about the simpler things: warm hugs, hello and goodbye kisses, and gentle touches that say “I love you and I have your back”. Are they getting fewer and farther between? Do they feel the same?
Changes in intimacy are a sign that something is off in your relationship. It may just be work-related stress or other external factors, but should never be ignored. Talk to your partner about it. If you’re after a reasonable time has passed and you’re seeing no substantive improvement, then maybe it’s time to consider couples counseling.
Couples Counseling Has Crossed Your Mind
If you’re already thinking about couples counseling, then chances are, it might be a good time to start looking for a relationship therapist. No, this doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed or even in trouble. Seeking couples counseling early can prevent small, resolvable issues, from becoming full-blown irreconcilable differences. It’s always better to be proactive; don’t allow social stigmas or personal fears to prevent you from taking pre-emptive action. This is your relationship, your life.
You Miss How Things Used To Be
Remember those fun times when both of you were madly in love and everything seemed perfect? Rather than lamenting on those days, you should do something to change the current situation. If not, you could spend years or even decades regretting “what could have been” had you taken action early.