Emotional Unavailability: How to Identify an Emotionally Unavailable Person

Emotional availability is having the presence of emotional connection and responsiveness to another person. It is essential in maintaining healthy relationships and mental health. But when individuals are emotionally unavailable, they tend to shut down their emotional bonds and build an emotional space instead. They are usually distant and secretive about their own emotions to others, affecting their ability to keep long-term relationships.

In this guide, you’ll learn to identify the signs of emotional unavailability and things you can do with an emotionally unavailable person to help. So, if you want to find out about these things, keep reading.

Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Partner

Not everyone in the world is strong inside. Some people are prone to emotional vulnerability because of their relationship history or painful life experiences. But suppose you believe that you or your partner have emotional issues. In that case, it can significantly help your relationship if you identify the cause, including the possibility that one of you might not be available emotionally. Below, you’ll know the signs that will help you determine someone who’s emotionally unavailable.

Lacks Emotional Intimacy

They might not keep physical distance, but emotionally unavailable people tend to lack intimacy in terms of emotions. They can cuddle, make love, or show signs of physical intimacy, but they are less likely to express their feelings in terms of words and caring actions.

Difficulty in Self-Expression 

Emotionally unavailable men and women can both have difficulty in emotional expression. Even if these people try to be in serious relationships, their secretive nature can significantly affect their bond with their partner. Because they are less likely to share emotions even with their family members, their stress can result in serious mental issues and unhealthy relationships.

Usually Unsupportive

One of the signs of an emotionally unavailable person that you might notice is the uncaring actions and lack of support of that individual. If your partner mostly disagrees with what you want or you feel that you don’t get the support you deserve, it might be because he/she is emotionally unavailable.

Remains Mysterious

Even if you have known each other for a long time, the personality of an emotionally unavailable partner will still remain a mystery. So, despite all your quality time spent with each other, if you still feel that somehow you don’t know who your partner really is, it might mean that something is wrong. If not solved, that could make you feel uncomfortable and cause bigger issues between the two of you.

Avoids Commitment

An individual who’s emotionally unavailable avoids commitments. So, people who have this issue are less likely to be in a committed relationship. Even if they are involved in a serious relationship, they won’t usually agree to plans or compromise.

Ways to Deal With Emotionally Unavailable People

You might have encountered some people that have the signs of being emotionally unavailable. However, you should not ignore it, especially if you or your partner is one of them. If you don’t pay attention, the lack of intimacy can destroy the bond you’ve been building. Fortunately, there are ways to deal with emotionally unavailable people, including the following:

Determine the Cause

If you see some of the signs of the emotional unavailability of a person, the next thing you have to do is determine the cause. It might be challenging to find out about it, but you have to if you genuinely love that person. You have to ask your loved one or people close to him/her about unfortunate events that occurred to your partner in the past.

Take it Slow

When you discover what’s causing the emotional gap between you and your partner, you have to take things slowly and not pressure your loved one. You can start by taking baby steps that will encourage your partner to open up and find a way to help him/her heal from the past. Aside from that, help your partner build his/her confidence and communication skills.

Make Extensive Efforts

Dealing with a person with emotional issues can be extremely tough. But if you genuinely love a person, you’ll be patient and willing to make extensive efforts because your love is worth everything. If you know that you can do something to help, you’re the person who can understand your partner no matter how much he pushes you away from his/her life. So, don’t give up if you feel that there’s hope in your relationship.

Talk to a Professional

If you believe you have done your best, but your relationship is already starting to fall apart because of the emotional unavailability of one of you, you can consider talking to a licensed couples’ therapist. It can be a difficult choice, but it can help you save your love and make your relationship work. No matter what obstacles life puts in your relationship if you hold onto each other, remember that love is worth fighting for.

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